


When you smile, I fall apart

by RoSholl



Series: Sweetest Devotion [5]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, mallory press-heath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23648821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoSholl/pseuds/RoSholl
Summary: Christen and Tobin Press-Heath have been waiting a long time to meet their little baby, and one week before Christen is due their little baby decides to meet them early. Can Tobin can keep it together for just one second and stop crying when their daughter is born? (She cannot).The one-shot of how Mallory Press-Heath was born.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Series: Sweetest Devotion [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669210
Comments: 18
Kudos: 200





	When you smile, I fall apart

Ten tiny fingers.

Ten tiny toes.

Tobin couldn’t stop staring, couldn’t stop marveling at this perfect thing in her arms.

One head of wispy hair.

One button nose.

Tobin leaned down to kiss the soft skin, smelling that heavenly scent.

Two little ears.

  
Two angelic brown eyes.

“I love you so much, my beautiful baby Mallory.”

Her newborn baby, not even two hours old, opened her tiny lips in the most delicate of yawns and Tobin had never been reduced to tears faster in her life.

She was so precious, _so_ precious. Tobin hadn’t stopped crying all day. She was so in love. Both with the little bundle in her arms, and also with the amazing, incredible, unstoppable woman that was her wife, asleep in the bed beside where she stood.

The birth had been both like nothing she could have anticipated, and everything she could have hoped for.

_6 hours earlier_

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?”

Christen could barely restrain her loving eye roll as Tobin asked her for the hundredth time that night whether she was okay. They were out for dinner at a Japanese restaurant, maybe the last time they would get to eat together as a family of two before their little baby came along. She was near 39 weeks pregnant, her belly she held proving that fact. But the way Tobin had doted on her and protected her through the entire pregnancy was clearly going to last right till the very end.

“Baby, we’re sitting down at a table to eat dinner just like we do at home. I promise I won’t over exert myself when I pick up my chopsticks.” Christen smiled softly, watching Tobin laugh at herself for being overly worried.

“I’m sorry. I know you are. I’m not trying to smother you.”

“I know. You’re being your usual perfect self.” Christen reached for Tobin’s hand across the table, joining their fingers together. The baby in her belly liked that touch, moving around a little bit to Christen’s delight. She never got tired of that feeling.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. But Tobin’s excited nature she wore the whole of dinner was really doing a number on Christen’s emotions. She wanted to cry at the smile her wife wore, the way she kept glancing at her stomach and then at her face, her eyes shining bright with the knowledge that in one week’s time they would meet their child.

If she shed a tear when Tobin ducked to the bathroom, trying to use the time alone to get all her emotions out, not one of the waiters around would tell her tale. She thought that would be the only interesting thing to happen when Tobin was gone, and then she felt it.

“Tobin,” Christen started calmly when her wife sat back down at the table. Tobin went to drink some of her water but Christen moved the glass away, knowing what she was about to say would only make Tobin spit it out. “Don’t freak out, okay? Nothing is wrong and it’s all perfectly normal. But I think I just had a contraction.”

Tobin spluttered around air, almost choking on nothing (Christen was totally right, the water would have gone flying). She grabbed Christen’s hand as she looked at her.

“What?”

Christen would have laughed at the look on her face if she wasn’t buzzing in excited anticipation herself. She’d read the books, read what it was supposed to feel like. She knew her body and the way her muscles were starting to cramp in her lower back and stomach was like nothing she’d felt before.

“Holy shit. Holy _shit_. When did this happen? We need to go! Do we need to go?”

“Baby – ”

“We don’t have a hospital bag with us! You’re still one week out!”

“Tobin – ”

“Why don’t we have a hospital bag with us?

“Tobin!” Christen squeezed her wife’s hand, knowing she should have realized Tobin would not listen to her at all. When it came to her health and their baby coming into the world, all of Tobin’s sensibilities flew out the window.

Tobin’s rambling cut off mid-sentence when Christen got through to her, her eyes wide and looking at her wife.

“Baby, look at me, okay? It’s not time yet. We’re a few hours away still. Breathe with me. In and out, in and out.” Christen guided Tobin through the exercises, not dissimilar to ones she was certain she would be doing soon herself. When Tobin didn’t look like she was going to pass out, Christen spoke again.

“Are you okay?”

She was sure Tobin was okay, despite the flabbergasted look on her face. Still, she had to make sure.

“We’re going to have a baby?” Tobin’s voice cracked with emotion at the end of the question, her eyes filling with tears.

Christen laughed. She laughed and laughed, her love for her wife completely overwhelming and overflowing in her. “Yeah. We’re going to have a baby.”

She wondered whether Tobin would have a full on break down right then and there in the restaurant, so overcome with excitement was she at the news. After many rounds of questions from her about what she felt and if she was sure it was a real contraction, they decided the best course of action at least was to leave the restaurant and head back home.

Tobin’s hand sat protectively at the small of her back the whole way to the car, helping her in the seat and even pulling the seat belt across for her. She kissed her softly, sweetly, placing her hands on her stomach.

“We’re going to have a baby.” She whispered against Christen’s lips, smiling through the kiss.

The pain Christen was feeling was mild, not yet bordering on the level of discomfort. They arrived back home, both of them walking into the kitchen, aimlessly standing in the middle of it.

“What do we do?”

Tobin’s question had them both laughing, almost hysterically, as they felt all the emotions of the day rush through them, all the anticipation of what was to come. They shed tears, Christen leaning against the sink for support, and she shrugged her shoulders.

“They said this baby would keep us on our toes and I guess they’ve started a week early!”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. The pain is only mild.”

“What do you wan – ”

“I really want cake.”

Tobin’s eyes widened in surprise, not expecting Christen to say that. She grinned easily, kissing her before opening the fridge to pull out a slice of the cake that was almost a constant presence in their house during this pregnancy.

“I really want cake in the bath.” Christen decided, seeing Tobin’s grin grow bigger.

“Lead the way, beautiful.”

Christen got about half way through her slice of cake before the pain started again. It surprised her with its new intensity. She didn’t expect them to get so sore so quickly. Tobin, who was on the phone to their doctor having already called their parents, saw Christen’s face pull into a frown at the pain and her eyes widened.

“What is it, honey?” Tobin asked, before a puzzled expression came onto her face and she spoke back into the phone. “No, sorry Doc, I was talking to Christen. You know I don’t swing that way.”

Despite being hit with a contraction, Tobin’s joke to their male doctor made her laugh, her hold on the plate the cake sat on so weak she almost dropped it in the water. Tobin quickly took it from her hand, putting it on the counter as she placed the phone on speaker, letting him talk to Christen.

Tobin rubbed the back of Christen’s neck gently as she listened to what the doctor had to say, telling them to start monitoring the contractions she was having now if they were getting worse. If they continued that way within the hour, they should get ready to head to the hospital.

“That feels good.” Christen floated in the hot water, closing her eyes at Tobin’s actions. Their doctor had left them to it for then, he was working at the hospital that night anyway so would know all about it if they needed to come in. “You and the water.”

“That’s good.” Tobin murmured, watching her wife in adoration. She moved her gaze from her face to her belly, the one that was poking up above the water, and she couldn’t keep the smile away. Inside was their baby, the one who would enter the world in a few hours. The one they had been waiting so long to meet, to hold and to kiss and to watch grow up. “I love you so much, Christen. I can’t wait to be a Mom with you.”

Christen’s eyes opened, filled with tears, looking over to where Tobin sat on the edge of the bath. They smiled at each other softly, Christen reaching out one of her hands to squeeze Tobin’s, feeling so much and in all the good ways. “I can’t wait for that either. I love you, Tobin Press-Heath. So much.”

“We’re going to have a baby.”

In the end, it hadn’t taken one hour for the contractions to worsen. Within ten minutes Christen was out of the bath, dressed in comfortable clothes while Tobin checked their hospital bag. Within twenty minutes Christen was pacing the kitchen, holding her back and then her front, while Tobin re-checked their hospital bag. Within thirty minutes Christen was shoving the keys in Tobin’s hand, stopping her from re-re-checking the hospital bag and pushing her out to the car.

If the pain wasn’t intensifying in Christen so quickly on the way to the hospital she would have spent the entire time laughing at Tobin. Tobin was talking out loud, maybe to reassure Christen, but she was sure it was mostly to reassure herself. Things she’d heard their doctor or pre-natal class say like “and we’re breathing in and out, in and out,” made Christen squeeze her eyes shut from amusement, not being able to love her stress ball of a wife any more than she did right then and there.

Her hand gripped the side of the door when a particularly painful contraction hit, right as Tobin had thrown the car into park.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Tobin said over and over.

“Are you saying that to me or you?”

“I don’t know.” Tobin laughed as she raced around the car to help Christen out, the baby bag slung over her shoulder. She held her hand, ready to lead her forward to the hospital doors when Christen stopped them, standing dead still.

“Tobin. I’m wet.”

Tobin’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. “Christen, _fucking hell_ , this is not the place for – ”

“ _Tobin!_ I’m not that kind of wet. My waters just broke.”

“Oh. _Oh!_ ” Tobin jumped like she’d been shocked, nodding frantically as she wrapped her arm around Christen’s waist, hurrying her along as gently as she could to the hospital doors.

Christen was panting a bit, not just from the exertion, but from how the silent laughter was taking over her, being unable to stop herself from finding everything Tobin had done utterly hilarious that night. “Can’t believe you thought I was actually wet.”

Tobin just shook her head with a grin, laughing at herself. “Look, you have to admit you set me up a bit there. Why couldn’t you have just said ‘my waters broke?’ The only time you say I’m wet is when you mean something _very_ different to the thing we’re currently walking into.”

“You’re my dream woman, you know that?” Christen said as she gasped through the pain of another contraction, looking at Tobin who called out for a nurse when they entered.

“Remember that when you’re about to break my hand in a little bit, okay baby?”

Tobin was right.

“You’re doing so well. You can do it, you can – ” Tobin’s voice got pretty high pitched and squeaky at the end as Christen squeezed her hand so tight it not only cut off circulation there, but maybe to the rest of her body as well. Her eyes widened when Christen shot a look at her, almost as if daring her to complain, as she clenched her eyes shut and let out another groan of pain.

Come on, Tobin. You’re not the one pushing a whole human out of you. Who needs hands anyways? You can recover. Get back in the ring.

“I’m here, baby, I’m with you. You’re so close, soon we’re going to meet our little baby and it’ll all be worth it, I promise.”

“Easy for you to say!” Christen growled out, making their doctor laugh as he came back into the room, a nurse in tow.

“This is probably a good moment to say it’s time to start pushing.” The doctor announced, seeing Christen nod with her eyes still closed, her hand now feebly squeezing Tobin’s.

“Hey, where’s that wonder woman strength gone?” Tobin said lightly, trying to get Christen to open her eyes and look at her. When those dazzling green eyes met hers, she melted a little. Christen had never looked more raw and beautiful than she did in that moment, sweat beading against her forehead, curls wrapped up in a bun, flushed red cheeks. “You’re going to do this, because you’re the strongest woman I know. You can do anything. You’ve carried our baby this far and now you’re going to be the reason she comes out kicking and screaming. Taking no shit, just like her Mama.”

Christen smiled, laughed, and groaned in pain all at the same time, nodding at Tobin’s words.

“It’s going to be tough.” Tobin knew Christen’s plan was to have an epidural, but the labor had come on so fast there wasn’t any time for that to happen. “But if there’s anyone I’d bet on to see this through, it’s you. You’re the love of my life, and I’m with you all the way. I’m right here. Now it’s time, okay? Breathe with me, you can do it.”

Time moved fast and slow for the next few minutes. Tobin didn’t stop talking to Christen, never stopped encouraging her. She watched the miracle happen, when the doctor was telling Christen to push, when Christen’s eyes squeezed shut in pain, when they saw a head come through. With one final push it was done, and the most beautiful sound Tobin had ever heard pierced through the air.

The baby screamed, making their announcement to the world, arriving and marking their – “It’s a girl!” The doctor announced, both Tobin and Christen laughing and smiling and crying – marking _her_ place on Earth.

It was almost a blur for Tobin when she cut the umbilical cord, seeing their daughter, their precious baby girl, for the first time. The doctor placed her on Christen’s chest, the nurse wiping her down a bit, and they looked at their creation.

Time stood still, for both of them. The room got a little brighter, their lives got a little fuller, their hearts grew to an infinite size. Their daughter, who had come out screaming, was now resting on her Mama’s chest, cheek against her skin. She had a few little squeaks and groans, the world was cruel compared to being in her Mama’s womb, but mostly she was just there, just happy to be close to them.

“Hi, baby girl.” Christen whispered out, tears falling down her cheeks.

Next to her, Tobin was a mess, tears streaming out of her eyes as she kissed Christen’s head, whispering to her how good she did, how proud of her she was, how much she loved her and look at what she’d made. They stared in awe at their daughter before the nurse came over, picking her up and asking Tobin if she wanted to help bathe her.

“It’s okay, go.” Christen murmured, exhausted, when Tobin looked at her like she didn’t want to leave her, didn’t want to do this without her. Really there was no way Christen was getting up from that bed anytime soon, and the bath was still in eye sight just at the other side of the room.

“Well done, Christen. You did an amazing job. That’s one beautiful little baby.” Their doctor smiled proudly at her, checking her IV before looking over their baby in the bath, checking her out. “What do you think, Tobin?”

Tobin was struggling to have a single thought past how utterly and completely perfect their little tiny baby was. Their daughter’s body had been bathed, the nurse showing Tobin how to hold her in the water as they washed her off, and then washed her tiny head of dark hair. Tobin already knew she’d have curls like her Mama.

“Yeah. She’s perfect.” Tobin choked out, knowing she was still a crying mess. The nurse handed her daughter back to her, now absolutely clean from her bath, and Tobin saw her in all her glory for the first time. She wasted no time moving back to the bedside, Christen shifting to the side so Tobin could lay down beside her. They followed the doctor’s instructions of laying their baby on Christen’s upper chest, so her head rested just at the base of her neck. Tobin swore she felt both of her girls sigh in content when this happened.

Skin to skin contact was important in the first few hours of life, and it was one of the most beautiful things Tobin had ever seen. She felt like her breath had been taken away.

“We have a girl. A little baby girl.” Christen whispered, looking at Tobin with a beaming smile of disbelief. They hadn’t found out the gender beforehand, what they were having didn’t matter to them. But now that they had their baby girl in front of them, they couldn’t imagine anything else.

Christen’s hand reached up to stroke the baby’s head, the back of her finger brushing over the soft light brown skin. She was the perfect mix of the both of them. Apart from her first magnificent scream when she was born, she was otherwise quiet, just taking it all in.

When her little eyelids opened and her brown eyes met Christen’s, Christen and Tobin felt their entire world stop and start again revolving only around her. It was like nothing had ever mattered for them before this little person came into their lives.

“Mallory.” Christen murmured, looking over at Tobin whose tears had started again. They knew they liked this name, and when Christen looked at her, it just felt right. Tobin nodded, kissing her head, kissing Mallory’s tiny head, and whispered against her.

“Mallory Stacy Press-Heath.”

If Christen thought she couldn’t love Tobin more, that proved her entirely wrong. The tears fell out of her eyes again, looking at her wife with a stare of wonder and love as she said Mallory’s full name out loud, not knowing she wanted her to have her late mother’s name as a middle name.

Tobin kissed her, and they both smiled, laughing and crying into each other as Tobin wrapped her arms around her girls, her entire world. She thanked God, thanked everything that had gotten her to this place. She’d never let it go.

Ten tiny fingers.

Ten tiny toes.

Tobin couldn’t stop staring at Mallory, two hours old, beautiful and –

“Tiny, you’re such a tiny little girl, aren’t you?” Tobin murmured softly, holding Mallory’s body against the skin of her upper chest and neck that was showing through the tank top she wore. “My beautiful little baby. I love you, and I love your amazing Mama so much.”

Tobin could have paced the hospital room all night, holding her daughter in her arms while Christen slept. She eventually felt her fall asleep against her, and she lay Mallory down in the bassinette that sat right by the bed, swaddling her in a warm blanket just like the nurses had shown her. There was no way she was falling asleep, not when she had this incredible little person to stare at, to gently run her fingers over her skin, to marvel at that she was really their daughter.

Two hours flew by before Mallory was awake again, her tiny feet wriggling around and her mouth opening, fists pumping into the sky.

“Hi, baby.” Tobin cooed, picking her up and kissing her head. “There you are, hi there! Are you hungry?”

Mallory stared up at her, her limbs still wriggling every now and again, her button nose being too irresistible to Tobin who left a kiss on it.

“Chris, baby.” Tobin gently murmured, leaning down to kiss Christen’s forehead and try to rouse her exhausted wife. Christen’s eyes slowly fluttered open, staring up at Tobin and her daughter. “Hi, love. Mallory wants to get back in on that food action.”

Christen smiled sleepily at the way Tobin talked like Mallory could understand what they were saying. She looked at how preciously Tobin held her. She remembered falling asleep to Tobin’s soft murmurs as she lulled both their daughter and her into their first nap after Mal was born.

Tobin settled Mallory on Christen’s chest, both of them watching in amazement at the natural instincts of babies that Mallory knew after only her first feeding session just before what to do. She was quickly latched on to Christen, the room in peaceful silence.

“We’ve been waiting for her for so long. I thought I’d be ready for how it might feel. But I look at her and my heart, it actually hurts. I never thought I could love someone like this.”

Tobin nodded at Christen, smiling as tears filled her eyes again, laughing at herself. “I can’t believe it, either. She’s really here, and she’s ours. And she’s perfect. Thank you, Chris. Thank you for this wonderful life, thank you for our daughter.”

“I love you so much, Tobin.”

“I love you.” Tobin kissed her, laying her head next to hers to watch Mallory. She joined their hands together, not sure how life could get more perfect than this right now. “We did it, Chris. We have a baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested a few times in the comments as a one-shot and I loved writing it! I hope you all enjoyed reading it, this one really tugged my heart. Please leave a comment if you'd like to see anything else with this little family, I love writing them. Thank you very much to everyone who has commented, I value your feedback so much. Please take care and stay safe.


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